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10 Reasons Why Intelligent Men Fail With Women
This is a First Article from David DeAngelo back from the early 2000s.
I have been teaching men how to become successful with women and dating for a several years now… and one"problem scenario" just keeps coming up OVER AND OVER… and OVER
and OVER and OVER again…
…plus it's actually amazes me.
"The Genius Failure Paradox" is the tendency for UNUSUALLY smart men to have very LOW degrees of success with women and dating.
After considering this specific paradox, talking it, and working on it for an wonderful quantity of time, I'd like to share my thoughts about it with you.
I presume that in the event that you've read this far, you then see probably yourself as smarter than the average guy.
You know that you are a little different than other guys.
You probably realized at a young age that you saw things differently, and thought differently than others in college…
And you've probably realized that your smart mind gives you an advantage over others in several regions of life…
Your smart mind gives you a particular sort of advantage that can be very, very powerful in life: YOU'RE USUALLY RIGHT.
Smart people become accustomed to being"right", because they usually ARE right.
And if you are RIGHT more often than others, you can get ahead in many situations.
Incidentally, I did state WORSE than useless.
It may actually be like using a hammer when you will need to tighten a bolt. If you apply the tool you have for the job, you'll most likely make the situation WORSE.
Of course, it's hard for a smart man to even IMAGINE a situation where his smart mind could HURT his chances for success…
But trust me, this is one of those situations.
So relax, open your mind, and allow me to share with you the ten reasons why intelligent guys fail with women… and what to do about it.
REASON #1: THEY'RE WRONG, BUT THEY CAN'T OR WON'T SEE IT OR ADMIT IT
I mentioned that smart guys are used to being RIGHT in most situations.
And what do most smart guys do if they https://en.search.wordpress.com/?src=organic&q=seduction come across a situation where they are WRONG?
They locate a new situation… one that matches their strength. They know they'll be right next time, so they just walk away… knowing it will not be long before they're right again.
(OR they let the"problem situation" destroy them… more on this later.)
There's no quick"I am right" around another corner to allow you to feel better.
It only takes"failing" with a few girls in a row for a wise guy to see the routine… and recognize that something isn't working.
Option? Think harder.
A smart guy just assumes that his logic has to be good… so he just keeps thinking harder.
However, when no success stems, it really starts
to become mentally hard.
Accepting that you're wrong is a very difficult thing to get a"smart man".
Accepting that you are not just wrong, but you don't have any CLUE WHERE TO EVEN START is even harder.
Finally, many smart guys think of the following logical conclusion:
I AM A Wise GUY, THEREFORE IF I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN AND DATING, THEN THE PROBLEM MUST NOT BE SOLVABLE OR WORTH SOLVING.
Try that to get a self-defeating idea.
REASON #2: THEY'RE BLIND AND ARROGANT
in summary, many smart men refuse to accept that a good, solid, viable response could come from somebody"dumber" than them, so that they discount any idea that comes from an"obviously less smart person" before trying it.
Let me ask you a question:
In case you were going to be walking around Africa on foot, would you rather have your guide be the man on this planet with the greatest I.Q., or even a caveman who lived just a thousand years back that had an I.Q. of roughly 50… but who grew up being chased by dinosaurs and all types of animals that wanted to eat him all his life?
It's an interesting question.
Now, ideally you'd love to have the guide who isn't the smartest guy around… but who's escaped from many, many dangerous situations with deadly animals…
But now let me ask you:
If you'd like to understand how to be more successful with women and dating, would you take advice from a man who is not very smart, but who knows how to attract girls?
There is something about being clever that makes some guys unwilling to accept input, ideas, or instruction from anyone that isn't either as smart or smarter than them.
Well, any wise GUY can see the folly in this particular approach… once it's examined closely.
If you have been making this mistake, then you need to STOP IT.
Learn from a few"dumb" guys… and let them teach you just how to get what you REALLY want.
REASON #3: POOR SOCIAL SKILLS
It's BLOWS MY MIND the number of smart guys I meet that simply don't GET IT when it comes to basic social skills.
It is like they have logically reasoned that social skills are for reduced beings who must play games… and not worth the time it would have to learn them.
In fact, I think that there are a whole lot of
smart men running around this planet who do not
even have"social skills" and"be a cool guy that people love" in their"MENTAL MODEL" of what it might possibly have to become successful with women and dating.
Social skills are just the… SKILLS.
They're not social Info.
They're not social THEORIES.
They are social SKILLS.
And you also don't get them THINKING about them. You get them by GETTING them.
Excellent social skills are the basis for good communication with other humans… and in case you don't have good social skills, you dramatically reduce your odds for success with women.
REASON #4: THEY PSYCH THEMSELVES OUT
Smart men do something that fascinates the hell out of me…
They come up with all the reasons why what WON'T WORK when it comes to women and dating.
They actually figure out why what they'd love to do will probably fail…
They use their amazing creative imaginations to imagine all kinds of horrible pictures and scenes… and then they use those imaginary outcomes to create negative emotions… which ultimately prevent them from having success with women and dating.
THEY DON'T EVEN TRY.
But if you have thought something through and think of a good reason it would fail, it is reasonable not to take action, right?
I mean, why do you want to do things that are going to fail?
It's sound logic, but HORRIBLE thinking in regards to the REAL WORLD… and success with women.
Because smart guys do not UNDERSTAND women, and they do not UNDERSTAND what it takes to be successful with women, they are working with poor characters. They're wrong before they start figuring!
Using your mind to develop with all the reasons why things will not operate in this area of your life leads to ULTIMATE FAILURE.
You have to learn to overcome this habit if you have it.
REASON #5: THEY SEEK ONLY"INFORMATIONAL SOLUTIONS"
What does a wise guy do if he runs into a problem… or he needs to figure something out?
He looks for INFORMATION to help him solve the problem.
MORE INFORMATION is always the answer.
Info is the buddy of a wise guy.
Obtained a strange virus on your PC? Just hop on the internet and search for how to eliminate it.
Do not know how to change the alternator on your car? No prob. Just purchase the manual and turn to page 147.
Don't understand the definition of a word? Open your dictionary.
MORE INFORMATION solves the problem.
So what do smart guys do when it comes to overcoming a issue with girls?
They want MORE Info.
They believe the answer lies in learning just ONE MORE TECHNIQUE… or one more magic idea.
Well what if there were a situation in life where the"get more information" strategy really made things WORSE?
How would you know that it was making matters worse?
NowI don't need to imply that studying more about how to succeed with women is a bad thing. It is not.
But in case you have an issue that is EMOTIONAL or PHYSICAL in nature, then reading five thousand theories on it probably is not going to help you very much.
You need to get out from żona mnie zdradziła the real world and try some things!
You need to look at the REAL problem… the ROOT of the problem.
When it comes to dating and women, there's a very good possibility that you have MORE than enough"information".
Smart men often use"more info" to divert them from TAKING ACTION.
I have heard this called"Creative Avoidance".
Nod softly in the event that you've ever figured out a creative way to avoid confronting something on your life.
Good, thank you.
So what do most smart guys do when they first meet a girl?
They become a LOGICAL CONVERSATION.
I am shaking my head right now…
Smart men try to engage women in LOGICAL interactions and conversations because that is where THEY feel comfortable… not understanding they're SHOOTING THELSEVES IN THE FOOT by doing it!
When you begin a logical conversation with a woman you have just met, you are basically taking a NEON SIGN that says"I do not get it when it comes to girls" and placing it on your head.
Average"logical" discussions include things like talking about work, family, school, and jobs… discussing politics, religion, weather… and anything that has to do with math, science, or even INTELLIGENCE.
On the flip side, if you begin talking to some girl and you say"OK, so tell me something… Why is it that most women say that they want sweet, nice guys… but they all date hot, selfish bad boys" (and then make fun of any answer she gives) you're with an EMOTIONAL conversation.
In case you don't know what I am talking about, keep reading. You need more help than I thought.
REASON #7: THEY'RE NOT USED TO THE CHALLENGE OF THE MOMENT
Smart people usually have time to THINK about things.
If you're taking a test, you could sit there and work out the answers.
If you've got a mathematics problem, you can work on it until you have figured it out.
If you are attempting to fix something, you can keep working on it till it's fixed.
Smart men are used to being able to take at least a LITTLE bit of time to prepare and flaunt their"good sides" in most situations.
Not so with girls…
If you don't know what to do at each step along the way, you are going to be closed down very quickly.
Girls have an AMAZING"He does not get it" radar system.
Women have all kinds of subtle and innovative tests that they throw men to separate the"get its" in the"do not get its".
And if you do not get that, then you are likely to fail one of these tests VERY quickly.
But the worst part is that you won't ever KNOW you were being analyzed… OR that you neglected.
Smart guys aren't utilized to dealing with complex EMOTIONAL and COMMUNICATION battles in the second… and especially the"women and dating" type.
One of they keys to becoming more successful with women and dating is learning how to deal with all the evaluations that women throw in you effortlessly.
But before you can learn how to take care of the tests, you have to first learn how to communicate on an emotional level, the way to demonstrate that you've got fundamental social skills, and the best way to keep your cool at the present time.
Two ) Find out about her favorite travel destination so that you might talk about it with her. Which did you choose?
I already mentioned that this is a TRICK question.
These three options all seemed logical, right?
I mean, why WOULDN'T you wish to appear with her favourite flowers?
Why WOULDN'T you wish to talk about her favorite places to travel?
Why WOULDN'T you want to choose her to eat her favorite foods so she enjoyed herself?
Go with me here…
Smart men believe they're being CLEVER if they do things like buying a girl her favorite flowers… and bringing them to the FIRST DATE.
In their heads, they're thinking"I'm going to be the guy who's thinking ahead… and I'm going to show up with all the flowers that I KNOW she loves… and she's likely to see them and like me more because of it".
Makes sense… good mathematics, right?
Well the one teensy-weensy error these"smart" guys make is not realizing that it doesn't actually take a wise person to think in this way!
In fact, ANY jackass can work out how to kiss a woman's ass.
And guess what?
EVERY WUSSBAG DOES THIS STUFF.
An intelligent man, in his proud arrogance, will believe he is being such the charmer using this"thoughtful" strategy…
…and the woman he is chasing will translate it as just another Wussy who is trying to MANIPULATE her. Another blow to intelligence.
MISTAKE #9: ALWAYS NEEDING TO BE THE EXPERT
Have you ever met a wise man who always needed to be"right"?
Have you ever met someone who'd really argue with you about something that they knew nothing about… and make a fool of themselves because they simply couldn't shut their"smart mouths"?
Over the last few years helping men improve their success with women, I see that this one pattern over and over again…
Smart guys don't want to be"beginners" at ANYTHING.
They don't enjoy the notion of screwing up… especially if they're seeing.
They want to keep this"smart guy" picture of themselves… so they try to always be"The Pro" at whatever they do. I'm a beginner at this… how can I do it? What should I do first? What next?" … and rather than being completely OK with screwing up, making mistakes, and making a fool of themselves in front of others in order to LEARN…
…they won't risk embarrassment, failure, or others thinking that they're beginners… so that they wind up ultimately FAILING.
MORE NEWS JUST IN: It's OK to be a beginner.
His WEAKNESS is often his EMOTIONS.
Smart guys are usually IMMOBILIZED by FEAR.
And since many smart men are not comfortable dealing with things they are not good at, they just repress or RUN from fear.
Many men prefer to DIE in lonely isolation compared to admit that they don't know how to take care of their emotions… or, GODFORBID, request help!
Hey, I went for YEARS like this.
I know what it is like.
But the truth is that any guy can learn to handle and even MASTER his feelings (even fear)… if he just takes time and effort to understand how to do it.
If that is you, then do yourself a huge favor… take the time. Take the effort.
Don't worry about what anyone else thinks of you… it doesn't matter.
What matters is you doing the things that YOU need to do FOR YOU.
…I think the reason I'm so fascinated with"The Genius Failure Paradox" is because I have had to fight with all these problems for a lot of years of my life.
Now, I am not saying that I am the smartest guy on the planet…
But I don't believe mamma raised no fool.
Plus it always bothered the hell out of me even though I was so good at figuring out things, I could not figure WOMEN out.
Something tells me you understand what I am speaking about.
Well, after beating my head against the wall for a few years… attempting all kinds of crazy"logical" things… I finally got the"bright" idea to begin studying men who were"naturally" good with girls.
Of courseI found out you could be both NOT SMART, and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN at precisely the exact same moment.
I also learned that you can be wise and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN too.
By carefully analyzing what the"naturals" failed with girls… and learning how they"thought" about the subject, I began to realize that success with women wasn't entirely LOGICAL.
Much of what I learned was quite tough for me to accept… because my logical mind simply didn't need to buy into it.
One thing I saw was men pushing women away from them… and having the women then chase them in response.
Made no sense at all.
I watched guys tease beautiful women and make jokes about them to their faces… then watched those girls become"little girls" in reaction… unable to maintain their composure, and so unable to maintain their manipulative power…
It took me quite a long time, but I continued to learn, test, and refine what I was studying until I figured out how to approach women in any situation… get any girl's amount I wanted anytime I wanted… date some other type of woman I wanted…
…and most importantly, GET RID of the"empty" feeling that I carried around my whole life because I did not find out how to draw women.
And after I got this area of my own life together, I decided to help other guys get this region of THEIR lives collectively.
The ultimate effect of all this time, effort, and energy is my free Secret Society Letters.
And I'd love to invite you to sign up.
It is free, there is no obligation, I will never share your email address with anybody, and you can easily remove yourself anytime with no hassles (and no, I'll never pull any of these tricks where I send you a bunch of unwanted junk email when you try to remove yourself).
Of course, it even gets better than that…
as well as my free Secret Society Letter, I also have a killer downloadable eBook that you can download right now and be reading in literally MINUTES from right now.
And I will speak to you again soon.